we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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