And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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