but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
