I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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