Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
