Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Randomize
