I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Ketchup is God's man juice
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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