ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
