with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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