wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
