it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
