Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
