Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
