Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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