Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
