just tell him i said nine months
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
