got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
