WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
