So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Sorry about my life...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
