i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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