so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
babies were throwing up all over the place
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Hippo gnu deer
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize