He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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