Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
