idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
vagina is talking i cant
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
When are your genitals available?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
