I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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