I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
