half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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