They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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