Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
