I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
