watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
