This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
