Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Randomize