she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
