if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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