so explain again why im purple
no
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She needs sedatives and a leash
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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