my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
