very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
