Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
