You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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