1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
