Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
