I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
