break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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