So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
