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I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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