I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
