That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
