dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
