yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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