i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
