I think im going to throw up on grandma
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
is it fun? or sober?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
