hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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