Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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