Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
