I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize