It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize