Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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