my sisters under your porch take her home
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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