that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
