I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
