Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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